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Friday, 02 November 2007

I decided to switch back to Blogspot. Yeah, cause my Xanga account is kinda in a mess and I don’t know how to fix it. I guess I’m not smart enough… Heh? This is my new blog link: www.sherocksyourworld.blogspot.com

Tuesday, 02 October 2007

It’s 2.45am and I’m still awake. I’ve been having a real bad cough since last Wednesday and I haven’t been having the best of sleep lately. I start coughing in the middle of the night, and I end up coughing real bad and bam, I’m awake for the next hour or so. That happens every night and yes, tonight is another of those sleepless coughing nights, unfortunately. I’ve been awake for about an hour and fifteen minutes ago. I gave up trying to sleep and decided to type out a reasonable post which I have NOT done in quite some time. Oh well, since I can’t sleep, why don’t tire myself out?

It’s been quite a while since I’ve actually been desperate for God. As in, REALLY desperate. As I think of all those YC camps and conferences that I’ve attended, I find myself wondering, ‘Why was I so fired up for God then? What happened to that desperation that flooded my soul? Why did I let things change?’ Why does it take a conference or a camp to make that desperation for God happen?

I guess everything boils down to this; to worship Him is a choice.

And certain choices requires pure determination that would not back down when temptations/obstacles/hindrances/events come into the picture. So often I find myself thinking about my struggles or ‘I’m tired!’ during praise and worship. It’s not that I don’t focus on God entirely, it’s just that my mind tends to wander off after a few minutes.

It’s so irritating that I find myself emotionally being like a yo-yo. I know I’m just a human but that shouldn’t be an excuse. Certain times I’m so hyped up that I can just sing my heart out, whether in tune or not and just fall down on my knees, just being worshipping Him. But certain times I just feel empty. Okay, empty is not the word. I can’t think of any other word to describe it.

Basically, I just want to stop disappointing God and myself.

Take me to that place, Lord
Where there’s nothing else but me and You
Longing for Your presence
I know that You’re calling me back to You

Here I stand
And long for Your embrace
Nothing else could ever take Your place

Come Holy Spirit
Fall in this place
I need more and more of You
Fill me again with the power of Your Spirit
Lord, I’m crying out for more and more of You

I so need to get my life right back with my God.

Friday, 28 September 2007

Have been having a really bad cough for the past few days.

Don’t feel like updating.

Want to sleep now.

I sound like a toad.

Being sick is not cool.

=(

Tuesday, 25 September 2007

SOMETHING’S INCREDIBLY WRONG WITH MY BLOG AND I DON’T KNOW WHY!!! =(

IT LOOKS WORSE THAN RETARDED… IT LOOKS WORSE THAN LAST TIME!! double =(

I want to cry… *sniff sniff*

Friday, 21 September 2007

4 Alpha dissected a toad last week. It was surprisingly fun, and interesting. =) Eh, I didn’t just watch the whole thing and look pretty, kay? I dissected… WITHOUT SCREAMING! Salute me, salute me!! =D

Wei Wern transferred the toad from the cage into the beaker, and he’s supposed to stuff the cotton filled with chloroform on the toad. It went pretty okay at first but the toad jumped out from the beaker! People dispersed from the table like… like… ants or something. Girls started screaming their heads off(yes, I was one of them!) and guys were laughing their heads off. It jumped all around the table and on the floor. Wei Wern caught it but it kept slipping out of his fingers. That was pretty funny. He and Bryan finally caught it and yeah… That was the funniest part.

We went for some Soka Gakkai thing.. Got to do with World Peace thingy.. the drawings were pretty good. =)

I didn’t pass my piano. =(

Okay, I know I sound like I’m making a big deal out of this… I guess I was and still am pretty disappointed. I worked so hard just to pass this. I put my heart, mind and soul into my piano. Who knew that my all wasn’t enough? To make things worse, my 14 year old friend passed her grade 8! Now, that was pretty embarrassing. I’m 2 years older than her and she passed and I didn’t?!?!!

I thought I could pass. I came out of the exam room with a smile plastered on my face!!

But what is done is done. There’s no turning back. The fact is this : I didn’t pass.

The truth hurts wei… Big-time. It would be a lie if I said I was strong enough to control my tears. Sighs. Girls cry over almost everything… Haha, that’s funny.

I really thank God for my friends. =) Didn’t know that they could be so caring, even those who I’m not so close to. THANK YOU!! *hugs* You know who you are… =)

God is the only One who reigns – no matter what. =)

For the past week, I’ve been trying to play Only One for Me and while I was halfway playing it on Monday, something within me said “Are you going to just sing it or are you going to stop and reflect on the REAL meaning of the song?”

Only One For Me
By Hillsong London

I wanna be everything You want me to be
I wanna live my life for You
You’ve placed in me everything I need to go on
I wanna show my whole world You

I put my trust in everything Your word says You are
I wanna live my life for You
I see Your truth, find grace in everything that You do
I’m gonna live to worship You

I look to You and all Your ways
I seek Your face and praise Your Name

        All I need is, all I need is You
        In every little thing I do
        All I need is, all I need is You
        Cause You’re the only One, the only One for me

Never wanna be, never wanna be
Livin’, livin’ less than all You want for me
Giving all my life to my God and I will worship You

Instead of it being just another rocking fast song, it became my prayer. Won’t you let it be yours as well?